New-Mom-of-2 Strategy #5 - Prioritize and Let the Rest Go

Priority #1 is everyone survives. Priority #2 is that everyone survives and is healthy. Priority #3 is that the cloth diapers get into the laundry every day. Priority #4 is everyone eats food ever day. Priority #5 is everyone bathes. If all that happens I consider myself successful. If all that gets done and we're all happy that is a bonus.

Okay, perhaps priority #6 is that we are all happy.  But seriously, having clean diapers ranks above happiness at this point because no one will be happy if there are no diapers. 

I've had to carefully prioritize and stick to my very short list with determination and focus. This is not easy when sleep deprived. I usually have a lengthy list of cleaning and homemaking tasks to do each day on top of homeschooling and teaching yoga classes. I have slowed down dramatically. When my first child was an infant this resulted in a deep sense of anxiety and I fiercely resisted, causing myself and my husband much suffering. It goes by quickly, however. I've learned to embrace it and enjoy this time getting to know my baby and creating new family routines. Soon she'll be crawling, then walking, and from that point on I'll spend my time chasing after her both literally and figuratively. It is a rare gift to have the opportunity to simply sit and be with someone. Sometimes I struggle to love people with abandon. I find myself apprehensive at times that an inspired and spontaneous act of love will become an expectation that I will then feel pressure to fulfill again and again. I feel free to love her with a total lack of self consciousness.  Every day a bit more of her innate personality reveals itself. These are cherished moments of intimacy when I feel the face of God revealing itself to me through her. I only receive this precious gift of revelation by prioritizing and letting the rest go.

New-Mom-of-2 Strategy #4 - Wear Your Baby Well

Babywearing is trendy in some circles but is becoming more and more widespread and accepted in this country for its many benefits. With my first child I did make use of the Baby Bjorn and the Moby from time to time, mostly for walking outside for exercise or while shopping. Wearing my baby on my body was a good way to keep strangers in stores from touching my baby at will. I'm a slight germphobe.

The benefits of having my second attached to my body and having 2 free hands cannot be overstated. I'd say she spends at least 4 hours a day in the carrier. My older child is always on the move and this enables me to keep pace, or at least have a fighting chance to keep him in sight and yell really loudly to stop doing something life-threatening. In all seriousness, we homeschool and have a very active lifestyle, so being able to continue to engage in our daily activities is very important.

Wearing the baby on my body also enables me to keep up, to some degree, with housework. Not the heavy-duty deep cleaning, but the daily tidying and meal prep that enables all our lives to run relatively smoothly. The key is to be able to stay on top of the cleaning. I personally find it stressful to be in a cluttered environment and have noticed that it elevates the anxiety level of my first, so it is really important to maintain a tidy environment for the sake of all.

I haven't tried all the different devices and wraps out there. There are many. I like the Baby 
Bjorn for outdoor and vigorous activity. It also worked really well for my first-born as he was a big baby and I needed the additional back support the Bjorn offered. I do love the Moby Wrap, however for around the house and for running quick errands. It can stay on all day and the baby can be easily slipped in and out as needed. This is especially convenient when you need to get in and out of the car numerous times as it does not interfere with the seat belt.

So, research and try out different carriers, find a few that meet your needs, and strap that baby on!!!

New-Mom-of-2 Strategy #3 - Go Shopping!

First. If you are one of those women who did not look pregnant until 35 weeks and lost all your baby weight within 2 weeks postpardum, please keep this to yourself.  Those of us who were showing at 3 months and lost a grand total of 5 pounds after giving birth do not want to hear about your good genes. It's like listening to swimwear models casually discuss how they can eat whatever they want, never exercise, and have trouble keeping on enough weight. Really.

If you were not blessed with immediately losing all you pregnancy weight within a few weeks of giving birth, I know that you may be reluctant to go shopping to buy new clothes post-baby. But chances are your post-baby body is too small for your maternity clothes and too big for your non-pregnancy clothes. It seems "reasonable" to wait until you've lost the baby weight to buy new clothes. Perhaps you underestimate the length of time that it will take to lose the weight. (Rule of thumb is 9 months to put the weight on and 9 months for it to come off.) Perhaps you don't want to face the "new" body in full length mirrors. Perhaps you dread moving into "misses" or "plus sizes" even temporarily. Perhaps money is a concern. No matter the reason that you hesitate, get over it and get shopping. Wearing maternity clothes past the first few weeks postpardum can really get you down. Trying to squeeze into jeans 2 sizes too small and muffin-topping out of them? Bright side - yes you can fit in them. Down side - yes, it does look that bad.

This time around I got smarter. Instead of wearing pjs and sweats for months on end and wallowing in self-loathing, I went out and purchased a few basic items at Target. A few skirts with elastic waists and a few nice shirts that all coordinate with one another. They flatter my larger-than-normal figure, conceal the fact that I still look about 4 months pregnant so I can leave the house without my newborn and not fear being asked when the blessed date is, and will wear well as I do lose weight. Total cost was about $150. Well worth it to feel confident and look reasonably put-together. Can afford to spend a little more? Accessories! Can't afford quite that much? Goodwill Stores or consignment shops are another great place to get some low-priced wardrobe staples to wear while you downsize.

New-Mom-of-2 Strategy #2 - A Shower A Day...

I cannot stress enough the importance of feeling good about the way you look enhancing your experience as a new mom - or being a long-time mom with a new baby. Yes, you're exhausted. Yes, your patience is being tested. Yes, you are probably a few pounds above your "fighting weight." However, sitting around in sweats and your pair pulled into a ponytail and a baseball cap will do little for your confidence or self esteem. Do yourself a favor and take a shower once a day and put on a fresh set of clothes that you feel good about wearing. This sounds simple. However, coming from a mom who spent the first 3 months living in sweats or pjs following the birth of her first son, it is not always easy.

I have implemented the strategy of taking a shower first thing every morning before my husband leaves for work. That way I get 15 to 20 minutes in the bathroom alone to shower, moisturize, tweeze, and dress without having to attend to anyone else. It is wonderfully refreshing and allows me some high-premium quiet time to start my day. Starting the day out feeling clean and looking well-groomed does wonders for my attitude. I wouldn't think of going to work outside the home without doing these basic things. Why would they be less important working inside the home? This simple step in self-care is also setting a good example for your older kids. Additionally, this way if any plans change during the day and I need to leave the home unexpectedly, I'm prepared and look reasonable instead of having to slink around in a baseball cal and sunglasses and pray no one recognizes me. 

This leads me to tip #3 - go ahead and buy some new non-pregnancy clothes in the size you currently need. ...

New-Mom-of-2 Strategy #1 - The "Food Bag"

One thing I realized while my mom was visiting is that babies have an uncanny ability to be hungry at the same time as you. This is no doubt due to the intimacy once shared after being on your eating schedule for months in the womb. This can make getting your own meals prepped and eaten a challenge - not to mention when you must prep and serve meals to other children. This has been my experience as a breastfeeding mom in particular.

My strategy is to get "in front" of meals as best I can. Before my husband left for work this morning I got lunch and snacks prepped and loaded into a lunch bag for D. I placed it on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator and told him that when he gets hungry during the day, if I'm busy with his sister that I'll give him permission to get the bag and get out a snack or his lunch. All the food is "D-approved". He was really excited by this. Its 10:13am and he's already eaten 1 sandwich, a granola bar, and a yogurt. Yes, he ate breakfast this morning. I think he's having yet another growth spurt. He likes having choices and independence. This has really freed up my morning. I'll report in a week to tell how it is going!

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things

After almost 3 months off from blogging and giving birth to #2 - I'm happy to report that I'm getting back into the swing of things, beginning to establish a routine, and am beginning to formulate blogs in my head again. It is just working out the precious time to get them down in writing that is a challenge.

Proud to introduce our newest addition - S. Meghan!
What are the odds of having 2 children born 4 years apart to the day? I can't decide if having the same birthday will be a blessing or a curse. I guess I'll find out soon! She was born at home, 18" and 6 lbs 10 oz. We are so blessed. She is a gift from God!